Pelvic Floor Health 101: How To Do Kegels Properly + Best Pelvic Floor Tools
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Your Pelvic Floor Called… It Wants Some Attention 👀
The What, Why, What Goes Wrong & How To Actually Do Kegels Properly
Okay friends…
This month for Women's Health + Masturbation May, I’ve been feeling extra nerdy 🤓
And honestly? I’m excited about it.
Because there is something we do NOT talk about enough, unless someone is postpartum or whispering about peeing when they sneeze…
Your pelvic floor.
And before you click away because you think this only matters after babies or “when you’re older”…
Nope.
Your pelvic floor matters at every age, whether you’ve given birth or not, whether you’re super active or binge-watching Netflix in stretchy pants (no judgment, because same 😂).
So today we’re talking:
✔️ What your pelvic floor actually is
✔️ Why it matters WAY more than you think
✔️ What happens when things weaken
✔️ How to properly do Kegels
✔️ Kegel exercisers vs stimulating toys (yes, there’s a difference!)
Let’s get into it 👇
What Is the Pelvic Floor?
Think of your pelvic floor like a little hammock or support system at the bottom of your pelvis.
It’s made up of muscles, ligaments, and connective tissues that hold everything in place.
And when I say everything… I mean everything.
Your pelvic floor helps support:
For women:
- Bladder
- Bowels (yep, we’re talking poop too 🤣)
- Uterus
- Vagina
- Rectum
For men:
- Bladder
- Rectum
- Prostate
But it does more than just support organs.
Your pelvic floor also helps with:
✨ Bladder control
✨ Bowel movements
✨ Sexual function & sensation
✨ Core stability
✨ Posture
✨ Pregnancy & postpartum recovery
So basically…
Kind of a big deal.
Why Should You Exercise Your Pelvic Floor?
Just like your abs, arms, or glutes…
Your pelvic floor muscles need exercise too.
And if we ignore them?
Things can start getting a little… inconvenient 😅
Regular pelvic floor exercises (hello Kegels 👋) may help:
✨ Reduce bladder leaks
✨ Improve sexual sensation & stronger orgasms
✨ Increase body awareness
✨ Support pregnancy & postpartum healing
✨ Help core strength & posture
✨ Reduce lower back discomfort
✨ Lower risk of pelvic organ prolapse
And here's the thing nobody talks about enough:
This matters during menopause too.
Hormonal changes, aging, surgery, chronic coughing, constipation, heavy lifting, and everyday wear-and-tear can weaken these muscles over time.
Even if you've never had kids.
Yep… this is an everybody conversation.
What Happens When Pelvic Floor Muscles Weaken?
Okay friend…
If you think pelvic floor problems only mean crossing your legs when you sneeze…
We need to talk 😬
A weakened pelvic floor can contribute to:
🚩 Bladder leakage
Leaking when you laugh, sneeze, cough, jump, or exercise.
🚩 Bowel struggles
Constipation, difficulty emptying bowels, or accidental gas leakage (I told you we were getting real today 😂).
🚩 Pelvic organ prolapse
This happens when organs like the bladder, uterus, or rectum shift downward due to weakened support.
🚩 Changes in intimacy
Reduced sensation, discomfort during intimacy, or trouble reaching orgasm.
🚩 Pelvic floor dysfunction
Sometimes muscles become weak… but sometimes they become too tight and struggle to relax properly.
The good news?
Many pelvic floor issues are treatable or improvable with proper exercises and support.
(Obligatory reminder: I’m not a doctor, bestie. I can’t diagnose anything. But I can lovingly scare you with poop leakage facts 😂)
How To Properly Do Kegels (Because Yes, You Can Do Them Wrong)
Here’s the thing…
A lot of people think they’re doing Kegels correctly.
And then they’re accidentally clenching their butt cheeks for six months 😅
Step 1: Find the Right Muscles
Imagine trying to:
- Stop your pee midstream
OR - Stop yourself from passing gas
Those are the muscles you’re looking for.
For women:
You may feel a gentle lifting sensation in the vagina and rectum.
Bonus tip:
Try inserting a clean finger into the vagina and gently squeeze. You should feel tightening around it.
Important: Only use the “stop peeing” trick once or twice to identify muscles. Don’t make a habit of it.
Step 2: Practice Proper Technique
Now that you've found the muscles:
✨ Tighten and gently lift upward
✨ Hold for 3–5 seconds
✨ Relax completely for the same amount of time
✨ Keep breathing normally
Avoid tightening:
❌ Butt cheeks
❌ Thighs
❌ Stomach muscles
❌ Holding your breath
And yes…
Learning to properly engage these muscles can also support better intimacy and stronger orgasms 👀
Step 3: Build a Routine
Start simple:
✔️ 10–15 reps per set
✔️ 3 times per day
✔️ Start laying down, then move to sitting and standing
✔️ Work toward 10-second holds
And remember:
Consistency matters more than intensity.
Tiny habits > doing 100 random squeezes once a month 😜
Kegel Exercise Balls vs Stimulating Toys: What's The Difference?
This is one of my most asked questions.
And spoiler alert:
They’re not the same thing.
1. Kegel Exercise Balls (Weights)
Think of these like strength training for your pelvic floor.
These weighted balls are inserted vaginally, and your muscles naturally engage to hold them in place.
Kind of like your pelvic floor doing a tiny gym workout.
They’re best for:
✔️ Building muscle strength
✔️ Body awareness
✔️ Improving endurance
✔️ Progressive training
2. Stimulating Pelvic Floor Toys
These tools often use vibration or stimulation to help activate muscles and increase awareness.
Some also make the process a lot more enjoyable 👀
They can be great if:
✔️ You struggle finding the right muscles
✔️ You want more sensory feedback
✔️ You need motivation to stay consistent
✔️ You want pelvic floor support and pleasure
Which One Should You Choose?
Start with Kegel Balls if:
- You’re brand new to pelvic floor work
- You want simple and low-tech
- Your goal is muscle strength & control
Try Stimulating Toys if:
- You struggle activating the muscles
- You want added sensation or motivation
- You enjoy techy wellness tools
And honestly?
Many people use both.
Strength training plus stimulation can be a really nice combo.
Quick Safety Tips Before You Start
Before ya’ll go full pelvic floor queen 👑
A few reminders:
✔️ Start slow
✔️ Use plenty of water-based lube
✔️ Clean toys thoroughly
✔️ Don’t overdo it (especially if new)
✔️ If you have pain, prolapse, or severe symptoms, talk with a pelvic floor physical therapist first
Because sometimes pelvic floor muscles are weak…
And sometimes they’re too tight, which changes the approach.
Your Pelvic Floor Matters More Than You Think ❤️
I know this one got a little more technical than my usual emails…
But this stuff matters.
Because confidence, pleasure, comfort, bladder control, intimacy, and long-term wellness?
They’re all connected.
And if you’re sitting there thinking:
"Okay Amanda… but where do I even start?"
I got you 👇
Browse beginner-friendly pelvic floor tools, kegel exercisers & intimacy wellness favorites here.